AbbaGav posts an email from Palestinian Foreign Minister Mahmoud al-Zahar seeking some help on an "EXCEPTIONALLY LARGE FINANCIAL TRANSACTION" (not to be confused with some kind of Nigerian scam):
A recently deceased . . . shall we say . . . rival … left a substantial amount of money — $2,184,073,233.24 to be exact — which has heretofore remained unaccounted for. I don’t want to get into details about this man’s horrible, horrible widow and her Parisian shopping sprees . . . but let me just say that I now have access to this money and no way to funnel it to the poverty-stricken security forces and explosives labs inside my dear country.
This is where YOU come in. As I mentioned, no bank will handle this transaction for us since they are all afraid of being branded so-called terrorist supporters by the Real Terrorist. So we need a reputable 3rd party who can process our $2 billion dollars (TWO BILLION U.S. DOLLARS, AND CHANGE) in their own account and then allow our intermediaries and anonymous moderate supporters to access these funds.
Of course anyone providing such a legitimate and humanitarian service WOULD SHARE IN THE PROFIT and could KEEP 10% OF THE MONEY — less local taxes, import/export duties, fees and exit visa charges — I promise.
But in order to be a legitimate agent of the Palestinian people, you are first legally required to provide a one-time refundable deposit of at least $25,000 in cash. . . . You should bring it personally to the Rafah border crossing between
Egypt and. Gaza Word of advice: Do not — I repeat, DO NOT — bring the cash to the Kalendia checkpoint or anywhere else under the Zionist Occupier’s jurisdiction. . . . No, you MUST enter through
. . . . You will probably need to bribe the border agent several thousand extra dollars — do not be alarmed, this is perfectly normal — and then my security people will take good care of you. They will slip you past any surrounding greedy Fatah bastards looking to misappropriate your money — if my guys put a hood over your head, do not worry, it is only a disguise — and then they’ll escort you straight to my office in the Palestinian Parliament. Or if I am out amongst my constituency, they might take you to an abandoned warehouse I sometimes use for these meetings instead. . . . Egypt Please note that this transaction is 115% safe and we hope THAT THE FUNDS CAN ARRIVE IN YOUR ACCOUNT no more than ten (10) banking days from the date of receipt of your suitcase stuffed with CASH.
Read the whole thing before booking travel to the Rafah border.