The Oscar ceremony this evening will probably have record low viewers. The combined box office attendance for the five nominees for Best Picture is a small faction of those who went to see a self-financed religious picture in 2005.
Greg Gutfeld, writing at the Huffington Post, predicts what we’ll see at the ceremony:
Jon Stewart opens with a gay cowboy joke, followed by a Cheney joke. This is perceived as . . . a sign that Stewart won’t be "muzzled." He turns to self-deprecation when the schtick becomes repetitive. . . .
Tim Robbins attempts a witty comment at the expense of the religious right. He remains mum on Muslims and cartoons.
Meanwhile, Theo Van Gogh remains dead. . .
When the announcer describes Paradise Now, the phrase "humanizing" replaces "condoning suicide bombings."
When the announcer describes Good Night and Good Luck, the phrase "chilling" replaces "self-congratulatory tripe." . . .
Robin Williams will appear on stage for one of his traditional improvisations. He will begin by assuming the voice of Dick Cheney, on a hunting trip, which will then morph into Elmer Fudd, then into George Bush.
And so on. Ironically, the film that actually was the best picture was not even nominated. The film that would have been the best picture was not even made.
The test of the show will be whether Theo Van Gogh is mentioned (or even makes the cavalcade of pictures of filmmakers who passed away during the year), and whether the industry will wish the Danish Cartoonists more than good night and good luck.
UPDATE: Thud. A neutered Jon Stewart presides over a long and sedate Oscars with no spirit other than “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp.” Munich clip shows Israelis almost blowing up a child. Only one quasi-political speech: George Clooney delivers a paean to the industry’s support for civil rights, but does not mention Theo Van Gogh or the Danish cartoonists. Neither does anyone else.