Joseph Epstein may be the most graceful essayist writing today. His new book (“In a Cardboard Belt! – Essays Personal, Literary, and Savage”) is his tenth book of essays, a collection on personal history, literary figures, reflections on the intellectual life and other topics.
Who else could write a charming and sensitive essay on obituaries and eulogies, one that illustrates the dangers of hyperbole with “the best joke I have ever heard about memorial services.”
This is the joke about a Mr. Nussbaum, who goes to his rabbi to announce that his beloved dog Buster has just died and that he would be grateful if the rabbi would say a memorial service for the dog. The rabbi, after expressing his condolences, tells Mr. Nussbaum that Jews are not permitted to say memorial services for animals.
Mr. Nussbaum informs the rabbi that he has no other family, that Buster meant everything to him, that he would be willing to make a serious contribution to the rabbi’s special fund for working with inner-city children if he would accommodate him here.
The rabbi, not an inflexible man, tells Mr. Nussbaum that, all right, he will do the service for Buster the next day in the small synagogue at . And so the following day, the rabbi goes through the service and speaks about the dog for roughly fifteen minutes. Mr. Nussbaum, alone in the audience, listens, tears in his eyes.
When it is over, he approaches the rabbi, hands him a check for $5,000, and says: “Rabbi, I shall always be grateful to you for what you did for me and for Buster. It meant the world to me. And what you said about my beloved dog has moved me greatly. Do you know, Rabbi, till this afternoon I had no idea how much Buster had done for
.” Israel
The rest of the essay is a reflection on obituaries, including his own, and the ways in which writers of them strive for “good copy,” but reminds us that each of them “represent vast heartbreak for their families.” Like every good Epstein essay, it is serious and funny at the same time.