On October 28,
Ethical wills are “a lovely Jewish custom, one that is unfortunately not sufficiently known in our time” but that has produced some of the most moving Jewish literature from both known and unknown writers, collected in “Ethical Wills – A Modern Jewish Treasury.” The remarkable aspect of the “wills” is that each one is different, and each one can only have been written by the person who wrote it.
Norm Pell, the extraordinary teacher of the extraordinary Sinai class, was profiled earlier this year in The Jewish Week of
Norman Pell first learned about ethical wills a few years ago, when Beatrice Taishoff, who is his son-in-law’s mother, shared her ethical will with the extended family. At first, he believed that writing his own ethical will was unnecessary. “Those who know me already know about me the principles I try to live by, and what is important in my life,” he writes in the introduction to his ethical will. “I even thought it would be counterproductive to reduce these thoughts to writing.”
After embarking on the project, however, Pell discovered great benefit in writing down one’s hopes, dreams and even disappointments. With the encouragement of Rabbi David Wolpe, he researched the topic and began giving ethical will writing workshops in
He begins the workshops by differentiating between three types of wills: the living will, the traditional will and the ethical will. “A regular will outlines your material assets and a living will makes known one’s wishes regarding life-prolonging medical treatment,” he says. “Both are legal documents.” An ethical will, however, doesn’t have to conform to strict rules. “It can be one paragraph or several pages,” he says. “For all intents and purposes, Mitch Albom’s best-seller ‘Tuesdays With Morrie’ can be considered an ethical will.”
“Do you know who you are named after?” Pell often asks those who attend his workshops. Often, participants will reply, “I’m named for my grandfather; he was a nice guy.” But they don’t know much more about the man or woman their parents admired enough to name them for. An ethical will not only forces a person to reexamine his or her life and goals, but also ensures a lasting legacy for future generations. “In 50 years, someone will name somebody after you,” Pell often says. “Wouldn’t it be nice if they knew what your life was all about?” . . .
Writing an ethical will isn’t easy, Pell cautions. “It’s not something you sit and write in a day,” he says. “It can take a year. When you do so, you finally come to face who you really are.”
Contact the Sinai Temple Program Department at (310) 481-3243 or at programs@sinaitemple.org.